


occurrere

by amuk



Category: Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amuk/pseuds/amuk
Summary: Life, Ashe was told, was a series of meetings, of hellos and goodbyes.





	1. growing

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: affection
> 
> This will be a drabble-series which will not all be completely connected or in order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was not love

 

This was not love.

 

“Your Highness,” Basch greeted her formally, bending a knee in deference. His helmet rested in his left hand.  “It is good to see you again.”

 

“Gabranth, you as well.” Ashe motioned for him to rise. There were few places she trusted revealing his face within her palace, fewer still where she could use his real name. Fortunately, there were few who remembered exactly how the disgraced soldier looked like and with his scar and short hair, that image was distorted. “I trust Larsa has arrived?”

 

“He has indeed, your majesty.” Basch walked in step with her as she left her study. There was always this perfect distance between them, never too close, never too far. “He is waiting for you in the second waiting room.”

 

“He does like that one the best, does he not?” She resisted the urge to laugh. Though Larsa tried his best to act grown up, there was still a childish side of him that came out unexpectedly. “I should just gift him one of the bottle ships.”

 

“Then he would have no excuse to visit you and see the rest.” It was as close to a joke as Basch would allow, his lips quirking up. She had been getting better at provoking that response from him these days.

 

“True, true.” Ashe nodded, tapping her chin slightly. “Perhaps I should just get his name engraved on one of the chairs then.”

 

“Perhaps.”  Basch walked slightly ahead now as they reached their destination. They had almost arrived and it would not do for her to look too friendly with an enemy judge. Even if that country was no longer an enemy. Even if that judge had helped save their kingdom. Basch lifted his helmet up onto his head, securing it on, before turning back to her. “Your Majesty?”

 

His voice was muffled and less distinctly him. She had expected the change.

 

She had not expected the accompanying pang of loneliness that followed.

 

This was not love. Love was Rassler, was heartache, was the weight of the ring around her neck. This was not love in the least.

 

However, as she looked back at him, she could not deny something was growing within her.


	2. ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There would never be a good time to do this.--Ashe, Basch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not dead! That is what I am, not dead

 

“Was it quick?”

 

Basch froze at the soft voice behind him. Even without turning around, he knew the sight that would greet him. After hearing of her husband’s death, Ashelia had all but withered away. To her credit, she had not collapsed, but it was more of a question _when_ than _if_.  

 

There was nowhere to go, this corridor was narrow and he could feign he did not hear her. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to face the mourning princess. “He did not feel pain for long.”

 

He had not lied to her before. Basch refused to start now.  Closing her eyes, she relaxed her shoulders as though she had expected the answer.  Her voice was a low whisper. “Thank you.”

 

“I am sorry I could not save him.”

 

“I know you did your best.” Her smile was faint, her eyes already looking distantly out a window. “I thank you for bringing his body back at least.”

 

“There was something else.” Reaching into his pocket, his fingers curled around the cold ring. There had never been a good time to return it to her. There would never be a good time. As she looked on curiously, he held out his hand and revealed her husband’s ring.

 

“That is…” Tentatively, her fingers brushed the silver metal before recoiling slightly. “I…”

 

“He wanted you to have it.”

 

Ashelia bit her lip, looking away before taking the ring. Her fingers trembled before closing firmly around it.  “Thank you,” she repeated.


	3. cereus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wished she could have missed him. --Ashe, Vaan

 

“I’m sorry,” Vaan murmured after listening to her tale. Awkwardly, he rubbed his arms as he looked anywhere but at her.

 

Still more boy than man. Ashe resisted the urge to smile; she remembered being that awkward when she had first met Rasler. “It is quite alright. You too have suffered a loss.”

 

“Yeah.” He looked into the fire. They were the only ones awake, sharing the same night watch. Around them, the desert was quiet, as though it was listening too. “It’s funny, but I think I missed him more when he was alive.”

 

She tilted her head, not comprehending. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well…” He sunk his hand in the sand. Grabbing a handful, he let it slowly trickle to the ground. His words came slowly, each carefully chosen. “Those last few months, he wasn’t really Reks. He didn’t really talk or laugh or—he wasn’t my brother at all.” Vaan looked at her, troubled and uneasy. His voice was barely a whisper, as though if he spoke any louder the dead would hear. “It was almost…”

 

“Almost?” Even in the quiet lull, she had been unable to hear the rest of the sentence. She would never used the word ‘quiet’ to describe Vaan but here, in the dark, he looked more like a child than ever. Small, almost hiding within himself.

 

“Nothing.” Vaan shook his head and looked up at the stars. “I miss him. He used to like looking at the stars.”

 

 _Me too_ , she wanted to utter but the words died part way. What did she miss? His smile, the warmth of his hand, the taste of his lips? All of that was true and all of it ended there.  Like the once blooming cereus, Rasler had left her life as quickly as he had entered it. All she had was a ring and a ghost and neither could answer her questions.

 

If she were honest, she would have wished for more time. Time enough to know him, time enough to long for and miss him. However, there were battles to be fought and country to save. There was never enough time, not even to mourn what could have been.

 

“You should rest,” she said instead. “Your watch ended hours ago.”


End file.
